| Life Again (also copied from lj) |
[11 Aug 2008|11:25am] |
1). The guy I went out on a date with, that ended badly, (not gonna tell all you guys that. if you must know, message me. I really don't want to go over it again tho haha), messaged me... and added my best friend on facebook. He said he "kinda miss(es)" me. UGH. Get OVER IT! I'm not going on another date with you, ever. EVER. He gives me the willies right now.
And then, here comes annoyance #2
2). I'm sick of feeling like a freaking teenage girl. I have a god damn crush, and I can't get over it. I don't even freaking know his name, and yet I'm crushing on him completely.... and three people have told me, whom I've told about him "What if he's the one and you never see him again?" And seriously, I think it's possible.
So, here's what happened:
Two weeks or so ago, it was a Friday, I was at work, and I'm sitting in my guard chair. I look up, and low and behold, I saw the face of god (and his name was Brian Kinney). But seriously, he looked a bit like Gale Harold (crazy random happenstance, anyone?) with this totally cute longish but still shortish hair... brown like Gale's... he had a chin like Gale's... Gale's nose... and these cute orange sunglasses. He was playing with his daughter in the pool. Well, I assume she's his daughter. He's standing there and gets in to catch her, and he plays for a little while with her there. I watch, completely enraptured by this cute little family of father and daughter. I see no wedding ring (I checked). They leave, but I couldn't stop watching him. He put her shoes on, dried off, and put his shoes and socks on (and I think that's the most adorable, non-stylish straight man thing to ever do. Socks, shoes, and swim trunks, no shirt or anything... so adorable). They leave and my mom comes in, I keep watching him and he goes to a red mini-van, puts her in, and drives away. I think about him later, but nothing more than omg he was so hot, kind of stuff.
Cut to Wednesday, I'm sitting in the same chair I was that time... and I'm doing my guarding... looking around the pool for kids who are running, and I see someone moving out of the corner of my eye. I look over, and it takes me half a second but I jump when I realize it's him. I smile and giggle a little, cause... dude, he's hot! And he smiles at me like 'did I startle you?' and he gets down kinda close to my chair and he jumps in, trying not to go under (like I do, and fail) but he didn't go under, however he made this cute little 'oof' sound cause the water was a little chilly that day. I giggle, he giggles (or chuckles) and he helps his daughter in. I think they are the most adorable things ever. I can't take my eyes off of him. I notice him kinda glancing back at me from time to time as well. Then I have to move to the zero-depth entry (which is where the baby slides and stuff is) and I kinda see him moving so he can play with his daughter, but look over the miniature wall and see me as well... and I play with the babies, not paying AS much attention to him. Then I go to the deep end, he doesn't go there because he always is right by his daughter. I get done with my shift, and I see him and his daughter heading inside... so I'm like sad... but when I get in, he's standing right by the door. I'm a little wet so I take my shorts off and think oh I can set them outside to dry, grab my sunblock and go past him again with a little smile and a lot of shy looks, and then spray my face and then go back in because he's in there. He looked at me with a little smile and asked "Is everything alright?" and I giggle and look at him shyly and say, "Yeah, just putting my sunblock on." And he chuckled. His daughter told him there was another bathroom outside she could go to cause she had to go. So he went outside... and I took my towel out and my cell phone... and put my shorts on the ground for a few seconds to dry, and kinda watched him from the corner of my eye... and he was standing with his back to the women's restroom. I can't stop glancing at him, and being happy and feeling like there were butterflies everywhere in my stomach. He and his daughter leave after that, and I'm kinda sad that they're gone.
Thursday I didn't work, but I had this weird feeling that they might be at the park. I wasn't sure, but I took my dog to the park for a short walk after dinner, and I see father/daughter that look similar but I'm not sure, and I kinda walk around to where I'm near them but not... and they get into a red mini-van... but a lot of people drive red mini-vans. So that night I was laying in bed thinking about him. And I prayed to God that he would come on Friday.
Friday, I knew he would be back. I just knew it. I was there and my friend Ethan and his girlfriend were there and he said I looked happy to be at work, and I told him I had this strange feeling he would be there that day. I went to my stations and during break I was standing with Ethan and Libby, and talking about random stuff... like someone having a baby that I didn't even know was pregnant. And I look up... and I see him. And I tell Libby, and point him out to her... and she sees him... and I watch him get closer and stuff, and then he looks right at me with a little smile on his face. I swear to god, time kinda stopped for a while. I mean... he had his glasses on, but I just knew he was looking at me. It felt like we stood there forever, his hand reached out toward his daughter... his eyes on me... I watched and then time started again. He came inside... and went to his usual spot on the deck. He sat on the ground with his daughter under the shade of one of the big umbrellas. I was standing there in my ratty old sweatshirt (it was cold), and Ethan and Libby were trying to talk me into walking up and telling him that I had a crush on him. I didn't. I did walk slowly over doing my little funny walks like on a balance beam or something and just kinda playing around... I keep looking over at him, and see him looking back with a little smile still. Jake, a kid at work, comes up to me and asks why people were in the water cause it was cold, so I slipped my shoes off and proceeded to splash him a little and played with him a little but kept looking over to see if he was still watching or not. He was off and on. I got up in my chair, after Jake told me off for making everyone wait, and then pouted and said something like "everything's my fault" jokingly. I get up in my chair, see him looking over, and let everyone back in. He gets in the shallow end with his daughter, as usual, but he's like dragging her around, not so much jumping cause it's cold. And she doesn't want to. So I watch him, watching me, (or was it him watching me watch him?). I get done, and they're done in the water (which they were only there like 20 mins at tops). So I walk by, he's grabbed a lawn chair by that point, and give him a little smile, and he gave a short nod. I think it was a hi nod... guys can do it so much better than me haha. And I go in, grab my cell phone, text my friend Cait as I go outside, and sit down near the concession area, across from him so all he has to do is turn his head to look at me, and I can see him right in front of me. His daughter left to go to the bathroom, and he just sat there. I kinda wished he would have got up to say something, but... maybe he's shy, or maybe he has a girlfriend. I don't know. She gets back and they start to gather their stuff, so I go in and sit at the front desk, and I rarely sit there, but I knew he would be coming by. So, I sit there a little sadly, and he comes out, he turns around, looks at me and says, "Have a nice day," and I said, "Have a nice day," back. And he left, and I went outside to talk to Ethan and Libby, and kinda keep in his sight a little longer... and then he was gone.
He didn't come today, like I kinda hoped he would. I knew he wouldn't though. I mean, I told myself he wouldn't. Maybe tomorrow he'll come... I kind of hope he will... doubtful. I'm just really scared that he could be right for me... and I didn't get the chance to tell him so.
Out of this, I got to thinking, maybe I should have more faith in God... That if God did send him... on Friday... maybe he'll take pity on shy little me, and send him back again before I move... so I can talk to him. See if he has a girlfriend or wife, and see if maybe he'd like to go on a picnic or to ChuckECheese or the Zoo or something. Something that includes his daughter... if he doesn't have a wife. Which I really hope he doesn't.
But I guess, I should trust that God knows what he's doing... although I hope He knows that I'm totally falling for this boy, because of his shoes and socks with swim trunks and his love for his daughter... (there really is nothing sexier than a good father). Plus, I've never had time stand still before.
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